It was a tough decision for Michigan State to change their logo, but the University felt it was time for a change and a fresh approach,  the same way that many schools reacted in the “Logo-Movement” of the mid-90s.

“It’s a great way to reinvigorate the passion, and to line the coffers of the athletic department as fans will have to buy the new design, or stand the chance of looking like that foolish old redneck who still sports acid-washed Levi’s,” said Michigan State’s Athletic Director Mike Hollis, “It’s a process that took several months of market study, and we had quite a few test designs before deciding on the new one. Simply put, we left no stone unturned by putting five of our best marketing people in a room for 60 days with only a limited ration of bread and arsenic-laden water.  Their only instructions were to get us a new design, and quickly, as the oxygen supply was only good for those 60 days, no design, no out! needless, to say they were eager to get started.”

Oregon took away decades worth of use of Disney’s beloved Donald Duck to usher in a new trendier logo that allowed for Nike to bring out zany new uniform designs. Michigan State’s first reaction? Why not go old school and use a beloved cartoon character in our design? It will allow people to put two identities together.

Michigan State went forward with the idea, but the large cost of attorneys and rights fees left them scraping the barrel when it came to potential suitors.

“Lets just say the idea of a green ghost didn’t go over well with the more religious groups around campus,” expressed Hollis, “While the lovable Slimer certainly had his share of humorous misadventures in the late ’80s, the feedback led us to believe that the beyond the grave spirit of a potential criminal wouldn’t fancy the masses.”

“Krang tested well with the engineering and biology students,” said Hollis, “It was the female population that seemed confused as to who the bubble gum looking, brain might be or represent. We here at Michigan State felt that a cartoon brain with an unexplained hate for the Earth would not only show how intense we were in athletics, but also how smart our student athletes, and body as a whole is. Shame it didn’t work out.”

Michigan State abandoned the cartoon character logo quickly, and went on to test the idea of using a celebrity to promote the school. Several were approached, only two agreed. “Keanu Reaves was very excited about the prospects of being Michigan State’s logo, but he couldn’t hold his head still for the picture, so we scrapped him.” The University did get one famous hero to commit.

“I was not familiar with this Nicolas Cage, or his work,” Hollis said, “But, apparently, Americans are, and he disgusts them.”

After that idea didn’t test so well they moved on to a more local celebrity, and all things considered there is no bigger local celebrity than Tom Izzo himself…

“Tom’s a personal friend of mine, we shower together occasionally. I’ll admit. I’ve peeked, which is why I suggested the logo doesn’t have to be Tom’s face.” Hollis went to to backtrack this statement.

Puzzled at what the Spartan nation could possibly want in a new logo they went forward with a not so popular idea of incorporating local flavor into the new design…

“Nothing said East lansing like something burning!”

The city manager and council disagreed.

East Lansing Manager Theodore Stanton said in a statement to Sparty and Friends.”We strongly disagreed with the idea of a burning car for the logo. First, rarely do cars burn here, they’re just flipped. And second, we suggested a more appropriate dumpster burning, or even a brick through a storefront window. In the end our disagreements led to the idea coming off the table. A shame, because it would have been a good promotional tool,”

Finally, they were just brain fucked and over it, so they went with this…

“The University of Michigan immediately put a cease and desist on us,” said Hollis, ”I jokingly replied during the hearing, ‘you’ve been putting a cease and desist on us on the football field for over 30 years, did you have to do it through the court?’ The subsequent contempt proceedings were tough on my family and I, and the judge threw me in the clink for five days for not taking the Order seriously, but I still contend that this logo was not infringing on the University of Michigan. It’s Green, and clearly says ‘State’ below the words ‘Michigan’. People these days, do you think that Mr. Empire State sued everyone who built a skyscraper after him? Even if it was similar? I didn’t think so.”

Trey

Gator fan. Magic fan. Attorney at large.

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